Goodreads Book Giveaway
Pirate Tales
by Mark Stattelman
Giveaway ends October 19, 2021.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
For those of you not familiar with this parodic day of celebration on September 19, look no further than Wikipedia to satisfy your curiosity:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Talk_Like_a_Pirate_Day
So, yep, such a day exists. I’m not making it up (someone else already has), and all are welcome to join in the fun if they so choose. I’m guessing there’s no restricting the celebration to just speech, so feel free to dust off the old costume. Even if there were laws against such things as dressing like a pirate, well, who cares? Certainly not those carefree outlaws of the high seas. Sept. 19 can be a day of fun, celebrating the Golden Age of Piracy. So, don that eye patch and those flamboyant rags. Get creative! Put on your most menacing scowl and practice that salty speech. Aargh! Just enjoy the day! If you’re not too busy searching for treasure, then feel free to break out a bottle of rum and relax with friends.
And for those of you who are of a more serious nature with regard to pirates I would like to suggest a few lectures on the subject (24 lectures, to be exact). The Great Courses actually does have a course on Pirates. The course is a little pricey, but they do have sales periodically. You can join the subscription service (which used to be called The Great Courses Plus) and enjoy the course on The History of Pirates, along with many other “great” courses. The company is calling the subscription service something different now. The new name puts such a bad taste in my mouth that I refuse to mention it here (just a personal problem—but still I refuse, even though I’m not actually speaking the name, only writing it, or NOT. I love the company and the content, just not the new name). So, sign up for the trial period for the subscription service. You can even download the App to your Roku TV and stream the course there. Watch what you want and then cancel if you don’t like the whole membership thing—be rebellious! You’re a pirate after all! Or, well, at least for a day . . .
You can find The Great Courses here:
https://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses/the-real-history-of-pirates
There is a preview video of the course on the site (see screenshot below):
And, like I said, there’s my book, Pirate Tales. The giveaway contest starts on September 19 and runs to October 19. 100 digital copies will be given away. It’s a fun book. I certainly had a blast writing it. You’ll enjoy the tales if you open your mind to adventurous fun and some dark suspense.
As I mentioned in the last post, the final tale from the book is spread over three posts on my website (right here, and also synced to Goodreads), found in the Category, Stories.
And here’s a little something to put you in the mood (of course you can also read it in the Look Inside feature on Amazon as this is from the inside of the book.) It all begins with this ditty:
Of Pirates and Such
(A Seafaring Ditty)
Of Pirates and such,
Let me tell you a tale.
Sit and fill up your pipe,
Before we set sail
Afore we’re through,
You’ll hear like and tell
of marauders, and cutthroats.
Scamps and scoundrels as well.
Of Chain-locked chests buried fathom-deep.
No matter the bones in the box,
nor mind what secrets they keep.
With treasure map in hand,
There might be booty as well.
Keep it?
Why, yes! Of course. I won’t tell.
Your secret’s safe, but should you dare.
Just trust others to come looking,
As they’ll want their share.
Someone, after all,
Had buried treasure in place.
And that secret knowledge,
Will be just their ace.
When ready, they’ll come looking,
Pretty as you please.
What’s more, for the lock,
They’ll likely have keys.
Whether earned or not,
Won’t matter a bit.
So keep a strong lookout,
And match wiles with wit
Beware of the lady,
As well as the gent
The wearing of skirts
Doesn’t mean heaven-sent.
Some fine ‘n’ fair ladies
Will lift skirts with pleasure
And with the same smile
Cut your throat for the treasure.
Aside Swashbucklers and swordsmen,
Crossed bones, skulls and ghosts.
You’ll hear of haunted caves,
And what coves line the coast.
You’ll have your ear full,
afore we leave shore.
When first tale’s finished,
I’ll tell you some more.
There’ll be doubloons and jewels,
And blades dripping blood,
Skulls set a staring,
Half-buried in mud.
You’ll need a swig of rum,
Trust, before we are through.
But heed what I say, if you drink,
if you do
If rum be your fancy,
Be it not under sail.
Stand steady on deck,
Mind your swab and your pail.
There is a time
When drink has its place.
‘tis once the order is given
to ‘splice the mainbrace.’
Be true to your duty,
Eye the wind in the sails.
Keep this in mind
As I tell you these tales.
If you’re manning the capstan,
Mizzenmast or main,
Beware of the boom.
It moves all the same.
If you’re high in the Crow’s nest,
With spyglass in hand,
Know to stay on the lookout
For more than just land.
Ship spied, how’s she running?
Be she fast or slow?
How’s she set in the water?
Be she very high, or very low?
What direction’s she headed?
And how full’s her sails?
Which way’s the wind,
And how strong the gales?
Is she way afar?
or might she be nigh?
What ensign’s she flying?
Half-mast, or on high?
If hoisted rag’s waving
The Jolly Rodger,
Avast!
Call out loud.
And cry out fast.
Scamper down the rigging
to warn all the crew.
There’ll be much to prepare for,
And yet much more to do.
Then scamper back up
And look once again.
Count the guns to be sure.
Eyeball ship, end to end.
How was it she’s riding?
Was it high or low?
If she’s low, she’s full up,
And might pass us by.
We’ll have to just see,
Which way fortunes lie.
She might just then run,
But we’ll have to be ready.
If she turns keel,
We’ll hold nice and steady.
Study her wake,
To see if she turns.
She’ll have to get close,
afore powder she burns.
Then it’s guns ablaze;
I’ll lay to on that.
Keep a good lookout,
I’ll tip you my hat.
Guns will be daylight
At night they’ll try an’ board.
If there’s one, there’ll be fifty.
A rampaging horde.
Fire your pistols
But make sure your aim’s true.
Death cares not a whit,
Whether it’s the other or you.
All this, of course,
I’m sure you well know.
Bury cutlass deep,
Before powder kegs blow.
That they’ll blow I’m quite certain,
Flames licking the night.
Rest assured, mates, that then
We’ll have us a fight.
Keep an ear for the whistle,
Heed the bo’son’s call.
Rogues?
Aye, aplenty.
And Scallywags all!
Goodreads Book Giveaway
Pirate Tales
by Mark Stattelman
Giveaway ends October 19, 2021.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway